Get Your hand over here.  Hold still.  I know…Your back stings from scourgin’ and strippin’.  Look it, the sooner I get the nails in, the sooner You’re hung up; the sooner You’re up, the sooner You’re out of Your misery.  So hold still!  Wish You weren’t so bloody.  Makes it harder to get the nails in straight.

Ok, I got this one started.  There, it’ll hold.  Tie his arm to the crossbar. Hold this hand down; his nerves are spasming.   Ok, I’m in.  Sure, it goes in the palm.  If they’re tied, it goes in the palm. You don’t tie him, it in the wrists…holds the weight better.  Gets very messy if it rips and he falls off; we have to start over.

Alright, who has the inscription.  What’s the guy done?

Oh, Ho. So this is the famous Jesus….From Nazareth, you kiddin’ me. Can anything good come from Nazareth? [Jn 1: 46].  Now that’s a laugh: King of the Jews. Pilate has a sense of humor.

Looks like the big-wigs aren’t too happy with Your inscription.  Tough!  What he wrote, he wrote, that’s my feeling. [See Jn 19:22]

They say You’re a miracle worker.  Well, You’ll need a miracle to get out of this one.

Hey, don’t let that lady near by…this ain’t anything for a lady to see.  His mother!  Oh, crap! This is not something a mother should witness.

Woman, I really don’t think you should stick around.  Once they hoist him unto the post, I’ve got to nail his feet.  Soon he’ll start choking and gasping for air, there’ll be screaming they can’t breath, even the bravest begs for death in the end.  You run along. From the shape Your Son is in, it should only be a couple of hours.  Then you come back and claim the body.

You with her?…convince her to go.  It ain’t gonna be nice.

Alright,  Hoist him up.  Come on, you lubbards!  It’s only one man! Get him up there. He’s tied on tight, just drop it in the hole.

Good.  Ok, bend his knees and hold his feet.  Right over left…seems to work better.  Need a large spike here.  All you have to do is get it in there…the downward pressure keeps it from popping out.

You need help on the other two.  I’ll do the feet here; you finish up over there.

Ok, that should do it.  They’re all yours.  Seems like you have more spectators for the King’s death than our usual lot.  Can you believe this weather?  Black as night, almost and it’s just past noon.   Hey, I warned the King’s mother to clear out; it was not going to be a scene she wanted to witness…but she wouldn’t budge.  Keep track of her.  That mob’s riled up; no telling what they’ll do. Your men may have more to do than just shoot craps.

Think I’ll stick around and see what happens.  It’s not every day I get to crucify a King.


Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.


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